Connection model

This theoretical model underpins our understanding of contemporary couples.

  • Assumption. Many couples live unhappily in their relationships. Some “explode” and split up while others to “implode” and fall into depression, domestic violence, hopelessness, dependencies etc.
  • Cultural dimension. Many of us live by the idea that couples are in fused relationships - where two people become one. Bob Resnick PhD and Rita Resnick PhD rephrase this: two become one and then there are none.. In a fused relationship none of the partners can grow because none of them can move from being close to being distant back to close again.
  • A proposed model for relationships. Two poles, two individuals that are both separate and connected, are necessary for a connection. Then these people can establish a relationship. It’s a model that allows for movement and dynamism.
  • The human dilemma. How to be in a relationship and yet remain an individual? It’s not a one-time problem. It’s a dilemma of life to be in a relationship and remain separate.